I was inspired today by a friend's blog.
She posted about Taking responsibility, admitting fault and forgiveness. Her post reminded me of training I received, as a teen ager, from Tom Crum about the very same thing. I learned at a very young age that I am in control of myself. I am in control of my feelings, my emotions and my being. I am in control of my 'center' and that I need to take responsibility to act accordingly in order to keep 'centered' What is being 'centered'? "Centering is not an abstract term, but rather a practical tool available to all of us. We each have the ability to unify body, mind and spirit in a manner which will make us more relaxed, energized, and integrated than ever before. We can release stress rather than acquire it."
Being 'centered' means to me, that my mind and body are in synch and that I am in control of things. I am a control freak but I don't mean that type of control. I mean in control of what I let or don't let upset my balance.
Jacquie's blog entry really brought back memories of me sitting on the Aikido mat at Aiki Week, in Snowmass, Colorado, learning martial arts techniques that, at that time, DIDN'T even occur to me to be mind exercise. When we meditated, I usually found it extremely difficult to do so and my mind wandered. It usually wandered to conflict of some sort and I would get upset/angry that I wasn't able to be in the same peaceful meditation as everyone else.
I am rambling. Basically what I am saying is that certain things are just not easily done the 1st or 2nd time around. Patience, discipline, will power, self awareness, and even forgiveness are all things that are LEARNED experiences. We all beat ourselves up over those things and I learned from Tom, that it's OK because eventually our body and mind will be ready to learn to be in synch or 'centered' and that we won't have to go through life sweating the small stuff. Afterall, in the grand spectrum of life, it's pretty much all small stuff!!